Nanette: You quote, “The only thing constant in life is change,” yet a lot of people are afraid of change. Is there an easy way for people to make changes in their lives?
Wendy: You are right, no one loves change. I notice my own love/hate relationship with change on a regular basis. An easier way to embrace change is to first connect with the benefit(s) the change will bring you. As you visualize the benefits, it then becomes easier to integrate the baby steps that will help you to shift your behavior. When my husband Matt told me I had to quit smoking cigarettes many years ago, a habit I found both delicious and disgusting, I resisted. I don’t love when people tell me what to do and quitting a nicotine addiction is much easier said than done. I connected with the benefits that quitting would have on my relationship—health and wallet. As those became clear, it became more important to me. From there, I started to affirm I prefer health, I prefer health when I was smoking and even when I was not. After about six weeks of affirming, I quit smoking and have not had another cigarette
in over seven years. Change happens with intention and patience.
Nanette: You talk about not being good enough and your struggle to be your real self. So many people worry that they won’t fit in. What advice can you give someone who wants to stand out but isn’t sure how?
Wendy: It all starts with loving yourself the way you are and then starting to make the changes that you desire. Louise Hay’s teaching taught me that twenty-five years ago and I still practice it to this day. For others to accept you and see you as you want to be seen, it starts with you accepting you and then seeing yourself the way you want to be seen. From there, the right
people and resources will show up to help you craft the outside into alignment with your gorgeous inner self.
Nanette: The four aspects of Self-Care are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Which one is the most difficult?
Wendy: The mental and emotional are most challenging. Mental, because most people do not pay attention to what they read and watch, so they can poison themselves with negativity and not realize why they feel so bad or have a hard time creating a life they love. The emotional aspect is directly connected to “our thoughts create our feelings,” so if you are not paying
attention to what is going into your mind, then you are also disconnected from your feelings.
I can be really great at the physical, mental, and emotional, and not so focused on spiritual. Or I can be consistent with my spiritual rituals and slip way from eating well or reading something positive on a daily basis. The one thing to remember is to be gentle on yourself. We do not have to have a perfect combination of these elements all the time, yet to raise our Joy Factor, it is best to pay attention and make choices that keep us moving towards having some of all of these elements in our life.
Nanette: What is the “power of gratitude” attitude. How does it help us find more joy?
Wendy: Things don’t always happen the way we want them to, or what we want does not manifest quickly enough, or we compare ourselves to others. These can quickly take us away from feeling happiness or contentment in our life. But sprinkling some gratitude into your attitude can shift your perspective. As you put your attention on what you are thankful for, then you can more easily remember that everything happens the way it is supposed to, which may let you be more patient. Being thankful and happy about what is in your life right now creates the perfect foundation for you to attract and manifest what you desire. Having a gratitude attitude is a practice, one that you must be conscious of and do each and every day. What are you thankful for right now?
Nanette: Letting go sounds simple but it’s often one of the hardest things to do. A lot of us are control freaks and we want things a certain way. How does letting go, or not letting go, affect our joy factor?
Wendy: I am with you about control. It is not a bad thing to want things to happen a certain way – that is the first step in manifesting your desires. The key here is to let go of the attachment of how it shows up in your life. When we adopted our second dog, Eli, he and Abbey experienced love at first site. It was amazing. But we gradually noticed that Eli was getting more aggressive. One day he got away from me and attacked a little dog—he did not hurt the pup, but we decided, under duress, that we needed to get rid of Eli. I sent an email to my peeps about finding a home for him, and five minutes later a colleague called. She told me that if we wanted to keep Eli, she would help us with him and we realized that Eli was not aggressive, he was actually a big scaredy-cat. Two things happened here—I let go of how we were going to remedy this situation. If I was stuck on getting rid of Eli, we would not have been open to working with my friend. And, as I let go of my view of Eli, I was different around him and he became different. Now I know how to deal with him and he feels much more secure here. We are all very happy together.
Nanette: If people could choose one thing to start with to increase their joy factor, what would it be?
Wendy: It all starts with choosing to be joyful and happy. So many people spend more time on what they are going to wear, going to eat, or where they’ll go on vacation, than choosing to create more joy in their lives. The Joy Factor Quiz [in the book] will point you to which of the four ingredients would be best for you to weave into your recipe to raise your Joy Factor. The key here is to be gentle and easy on yourself as you shift into being more of a conscious creator. From there, you will live a life you love!
Nanette: Thank you so much, Wendy, for taking the time to share your thoughts and philosophy. It’s been such a pleasure talking with you. I have so many things to put down on my gratitude list and I’ll definitely be Making Stuff Up whenever I need to get out of a rut.
For all of you who can’t wait to get more joy, The Joy Factor Recipe Book is available at The Joy Factor for $19.95 plus shipping. And don’t forget to try out my chocolate truffle recipe in Chapter 8.