The vacation also revealed to me, once again, my ability to let go and let be. Prior to the vacation I was struggling with knee and sitting bone issues and wondered how on earth I would manage miles of walking day after day and hours of sitting when I wasn’t moving. Worry clawed its way into my body and I feared I would be a mess on the trip. But sitting was quite comfortable wherever I managed to be and walking was great. My feet got sore but my knee held up remarkably well. I had an amazing trip.
Then I came back home and over the last two weeks the pain has resurfaced. Because (I believe) of my habits and patterns, the ones that are ingrained, the ones I have carried for so many years. When I go on vacation I get to leave them behind. I surrender myself to the wonder of the unknown and bask in the new and surprising. But at home, all is known, all is routine, and I have old and not-so-healthy ways of coping.
Livia in The Sacred Flame and Toscana in Bella Toscana both live under the umbrella of restriction. Livia has a duty to the city of Rome and its government. She must abide by its rules. Toscana gave up her love of wonder and passion and settled for complacency and contentment. Both of them have to learn what greater desires their hearts hold for them. Rigel, the main character in my new book, closed off her heart due to a childhood tragedy and will need to learn how to forgive and allow.
What patterns do you live by? What about your characters? What would it be like, I wonder, if we could live each day as if we were on vacation? If we could be free of those self-imposed limitations and old beliefs? How freeing would that be?
That’s what I’m contemplating these days.